She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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