its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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