if you like me you must not know who I am
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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