let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
