OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
