Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
