I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
