Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Two words: blizzard sex
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
