I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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