My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
