Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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