READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
