Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
