Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
