im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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