I'm gonna have a badass scar
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
