Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
420 ftw
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
