Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
