what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dignity is for republicans.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
