He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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