So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
