she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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