i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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