Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
