halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
