And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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