so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
