I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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