now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
