We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
