I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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