billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
