am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
