either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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