no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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