I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
