Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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