this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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