am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
