I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
