Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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