I think my vagina is haunted
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
