You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
