I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I don't think brook has ever known best
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
