Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
