he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
