Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
