You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
