I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
