I accidentally burped into my bong.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
