i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
