at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
