i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
