why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
my being single is dangerous.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
