A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
